What do men and women who have been single for too long do wrong?

Statement: firstly, I don’t object to being single or getting

It’s all different forms of life.

If you want to
get married, you should get married. If you want to be single, you will regret
it in the end.
(Bernard Shaw)

The data tell us that being single is a rising trend. The
number of unmarried people over the age of 18 in the United States has reached
45% in 2015, and it is on the rise. In Japan, the number of people who have
been celibate for life has reached 10% of the total population. However, a
large number of people does not mean that they have more right to speak. Being
single, in the past for a long time, even now, has suffered from subtle
discrimination. In most cultures, marriage (or at least a stable relationship)
is set as the standard in everyone’s life.

People think
that falling in love, getting married and having children are
“should” things. Everyone is like this. If you are different from
others, you are wrong! Especially after a certain age, the social environment
has become harsh on single people. It is often observed in life that when a
woman over 25 years old is asked about her emotional state, she is often embarrassed
when she answers that she is still single. These hesitations reveal women’s
general awareness of their single status: they think it is a matter that needs
to be explained to others. If you don’t explain, you will be regarded as
long-term loneliness and depression, and you will lose the opportunity to get
happiness because of your lack of ability.

A woman is very
successful in the workplace, economically independent, has a good social status
and life, but may be said: “what’s the use of that? It’s not impossible to
get married.” Behind all this, there is an over emphasis on the importance
of romantic relationships. A large number of academic studies, as well as the
social cognition and culture supported by these studies, also reveal that we have
overemphasized marriage and partners.

I’m not against
marriage or being single. But this is formalism. In essence, we want to seek a
sense of belonging and security. Love and marriage are not the only source of
happiness, not to mention the cure for everything. They can not protect people
from loneliness, depression and pressure. Putting the weak body and mind in the
“strong link” relationship recognized by the mainstream society will
make people feel better.

But in fact, we
all know that we are born alone. The last part of the road, how to walk, will
not be comfortable. Because of the fear of this dark moment, we want to grasp
something now. It’s understandable, but this road, no matter how mainstream you
have been before, will not be very comfortable. There is really no strong link.
Can weak links (social institutions, relatives and friends, community mutual
aid and pension, etc.) help themselves to walk the final journey?

Life is hard,
everything is changeable, live a good present. Whether you are married or
single, you can choose which way to meet your strongest needs and feelings at

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