Confronting the Lost Diary—— How I Treat My Depression

I’m an anxious person, too.

Since junior high school, I have found that I am more anxious than many people. Therefore, I have read many psychological books and tried to get rid of my anxiety. However, I did not achieve the expected state of getting rid of anxiety completely. When I was most serious, I felt that I was isolated from the surrounding world. I was afraid of the arrival of the evening. Due to the forced thinking and deep mood, it was very difficult to make every decision, and the motivation was not enough. I could not even get up. When I finally fall asleep, I have nightmares again. It’s so terrible. I thought I’d wake up the next day after trying to figure it out. But there are so many ideas that you just realize what you think and you can’t control it. I feel very lonely, because there seems to be no one around me like me. When I complain to them, they only say: don’t be too nervous, but it’s not the case. Moreover, no one has accompanied me through such a difficult stage. My parents can’t understand the reason why I am anxious.

A lot of people who, like me, have experienced life and spiritual loneliness are prone to fall into a deeper despair. For example, you start to think about life and death. The meaning of being alive. I remember a philosopher once said (like Heidegger) that everyone has an inexplicable “anxiety” mood. There is no sign of falling into this emotion. He explained this situation as that people began to realize the nothingness of life vaguely. At this time, loneliness seems to become an absolute existence.

With loneliness comes anxiety. Because you want to get rid of this abnormal feeling. So you keep asking yourself, why am I like this? How can I not? Do I have any help? As a result, anxiety magnifies the sense of “depression” generated by loneliness. If loneliness is the killer, then anxiety must be the accomplice.

When I realized that I might have encountered some psychological difficulties, my nerves became extremely fragile. How serious is it. For example, when I wake up in the morning, my first thought is, will I be depressed today? Then I couldn’t sleep any more. Because I succeeded in bringing the consciousness that I had just awakened into a new cycle. When I finish something, I tend to think of the worst result, and then I will be scared by myself, so I will always think about what to do if the result is so bad.

It’s true that anxiety is hard. I’m still more anxious than others. However, I’ve made a lot of progress. I know how to adjust my anxiety. I won’t let my anxiety affect my life too much. I can only say that I’m still on the way to progress. I’d like to share some of my experiences with you, hoping to help you.

1、 Outdoor sports

Scientists say dopamine, serotonin and endorphins are the “hormones” that make people happy. Sunlight promotes serotonin production, while jogging stimulates endorphins. I started trying to run every night on the playground, at a very slow pace, half an hour to 40 minutes, a talk show broadcast time, and stick to it. The wonderful thing is that I used to be so resistant to exercise without any movement cells. I began to find that jogging is actually a process of constantly reducing the load. You will exchange sweat for a lightness from inside to outside.

2、 Socializing

Pay attention to eliminate the kind of hard headed in order to get out of the door that kind of social intercourse, you will find that chatting with some people is a disaster for depressed yourself, because any superficial empty topic or idle talk will eventually result in you being absent-minded all the time. You stare at each other’s nostrils and lips and begin to pray in your heart that he can finish speaking quickly to give yourself a separate space.

Go to those friends who have the same interests as you. You can discuss a deep topic of interest, or simply do something together, handicraft or cooking. In a word, it can draw your whole attention or occupy all the thinking space, and let yourself fully devote to one thing.

3、 Let go of obsession

You should put down those ultimate propositions, learn to look down on, return to the most simple life trivia. I remember that there was a scene in the movie A Beautiful Mind. The schizophrenic Nash was distressed because he couldn’t work. One day, he was staring at his wife who was washing in the kitchen and asked in dismay: what are people doing? The wife said lightly: This is life. Put daily activities into practice.

Let go of those troublesome thoughts and live a casual life. God did not set a sacred mission for everyone.

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