Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? After the breakup, what would you do if you found that your ex didn’t have a very clear attitude towards you? Maybe today he is very concerned about you, but the next day you seem to be strangers. There are some things you need to be aware of about the change in your predecessor’s attitude towards you. Here are some reasons on why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean.
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5 reasons on why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean
1. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? He doesn’t like you enough
With a low sense of need for a person, it’s easy to treat others casually. If you love someone very much, you will naturally try every means to please them, for fear that if you say something wrong and make them unhappy, how can you treat them coldly and hotly. So reverse reasoning, he is hot and cold to you, the biggest possibility is that the demand is low, in other words, he does not like you enough.
So you can be as hot and cold as you like. You will be busy with other things, and then you will be cold, because you have a higher sense of demand and availability. The other party won’t worry that hot and cold will make you leave. He just thinks that no matter how he treats you, you still like him, so he has no fear.
Even if he just talks when he is lonely, he doesn’t intend to have any long-term development with you, so he will lose interest soon. I’m not sure he likes you.
2. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? The other side is actively reducing his own sense of need
Contrary to the first situation, the other person likes you very much, and he is eager to get your response, so he makes some small moves. The reason why he was so hot and cold should be that he felt that he was too active. It seemed that his availability was too high. As the saying goes, licking the dog had nothing. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? He realized that it was not a good thing for him to be too active, so he forced himself to pull away for a short time, which made you see the situation that was very hot at the beginning and suddenly cold down.
In other words, he hopes to use this way to motivate you to actively explore him and increase emotional input, so as to attract you and achieve his goal.
3. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? This is his warning of your behavior
A lot of girls are hot with you at the beginning, but they ignore you all of a sudden. It is very likely that what you have done makes her dissatisfied. Women are like this, there are things will not say, but will let you guess through action.
For example, if you are too close to the opposite sex, she is very wrong, she will not point out, but will be angry. In your opinion, this kind of anger is cold and hot and confused. In fact, it is her warning to you.
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4. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? The other is avoidant attachment personality
In fact, he wants to maintain this relationship, but many reasons make him unable to do it well. Maybe he has low self-esteem and is not confident in his feelings. Eager to be close to you, afraid that too much intimacy may hurt.
Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? This is the characteristic of avoidant attachment personality. They may have left a little shadow when they were with their parents in their childhood. They are always eager for and afraid of intimacy. After they get love, they will push away to protect themselves from being hurt by love.
It’s hard to say that he doesn’t like you enough. It’s just that this kind of personality’s emotional treatment usually shows a state of being hot and cold. You must get along well with the person with avoidant attachment personality, find out and deal with problems in time when the other person is upset, and don’t let this situation continue.
5. Why is my ex boyfriend nice and then mean? Your condition doesn’t meet the expectation of the other party
This is a very common situation. At the beginning, the other party is attracted by one aspect of you, such as appearance, and is interested in you. However, the other party has a tendency to choose a mate. After contact, they find that you are different from what they expected, not in line with the other party’s imagination, not the kind of person they want, so they quickly show a negative attitude, In your side, the attitude is hot and cold.
Although you are not the kind of person he wants, at the beginning, you still attract him. To him, you are chicken ribs, tasteless, but it’s a pity to give up. He doesn’t want to sentence you to death at will, so he will give you some enthusiasm and sweetness from time to time. Every time you want to give up, he will give you hope. Maybe you are just a fish in his fishing ground. It’s hard to get up.
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